Shelter and primitive fire-making, Valentines Day, Friends, Baking, Cookies and Shoveling Snow

We went to a homeschool program at the Damariscotta River Association  on 2.13.2012 - For part of it we went outside to build shelters.  Here is one of the participants with a shelter he is in the process of building.

Kanoa wanted to head back inside as the temperatures were VERY cold....maybe in the teens and windy.    Notice that there is no snow in this picture?  There were patches of snow and plenty of ice, but the ground is typically covered in white this time of year.

Primitive Fire Making Skills

 Li watching people attempt to make fire.

There was a table that said Do Touch with many shells and sea creatures.  The skate egg cases I have  seen before do not look like the one labeled there though.  I do think it might be incorrect.  

Li, Charles and Makana - It is always fun to hang out with friends!  We had met a couple of homeschooling families we know at this program.  Afterwards, we went to the library and then to Charles' house to play.  A fun day!  Charles was so sweet...he gave Makana, Li and Kanoa sweet valentine's day cards and a special chocolate rose for Makana.  That was such a special surprise!  We are so lucky to have such good friends!  

Our Flat Stanley package for my niece Cheney's school project.

We all put together a special place for Daddy on Valentine's Day.  'Caus we love him so much!! 

Makana hiding Kanoa in the warm laundry.

There he is!!

Li is in baking mode...finding the right sized measuring spoon.

Getting his batter ready...  He LOVES to make (and eat) various chocolate cakes and brownies...German Chocolate Cake, Sour Cream Chocolate Cake, Homemade Brownies, Storebought Brownies...you name it!  And it is not too shabby being able to eat some myself!!  Homemade icing too!

Found this when I was cleaning the bathroom..must be old!  Katie  wrote it a long time ago.  

Diaper Head Man....

Some pictures from Makana and Ruby's Sleepover - they love being with Ruby in person or via skype!  Lately, they all like playing Roblox together!  Li and Kana both wish they lived closer to her and look forward to visiting whenever they can!

Eating a double stuffed Newman O....

Li wanted to earn money and was excited to go out and shovel walkways.  He earned five dollars!  Makana went along to help and got a dollar.  

First Homemade Books for Children about themselves

I thought the idea Laurie Block Spiegel had for creating a child 's first book was a nice idea.  Here is the link, but scroll to the very bottom. If you click on the 2 homemade book titles, there are pictures of each page.  I bet my little guy would love a book about him, especially one where I am playing a find Kanoa type of game.
http://www.homeschoolnyc.com/resources/reading-primer.html

There would be no coaxing my child to read or pronounce words.  We would be reading for the pure pleasure of it as long as he wants to and is interested.  We may play a find the letter game as he sometimes likes to find a certain letter like a D for Daddy or a K for Kanoa.  I believe that the ability to read will happen when my child is developmentally ready as words and books and all sorts of things that provide information we wish to know surround us and most of our family often models reading.  I also believe that when a person is developmentally ready is different for each individual - and if we have expectations we are holding on to, we can practice being patient and accepting where our child is at and how they learn.  Many kids don't read until later, and in a short time you can't tell the difference between "early" and "late" readers.  And if we force a child to do things before they are ready, they will become frustrated and might learn to hate whatever is being forced upon them.  Better to let them learn with ease, when they are developmentally ready, when whatever they wish to know has meaning to them.  This helps them learn that they can do and find out about what they are interested in and keeps their passion for learning in general alive.  This doesn't mean don't do anything to help your child learn and find interesting things though.  Do make the effort to find things that your child shows interest in or even introduce things to your child that you think they may be interested in.  Don't have an agenda, but do offer, introduce and explore together and help when needed.  Be a partner and a friend.  Not only is that a great way to help children happily learn, but it is enjoyable and can even strengthen your relationship.

Here's a link to Peter Gray's blog about children teaching themselves to read.  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201002/children-teach-themselves-read

And somewhere in this blog I think I wrote about how Katie learned to read around age 3.  Li learned slowly over time and I'd say he was reading well around 9 yrs old.  Makana (6) is still learning, although she can read some words.  Kanoa, 3, likes letters.  

Lovely Words About Unschooling By Meredith

Meredith Novak posted this on the UnschoolingBasics yesterday.  It was so perfect in my opinion that I posted it to my facebook wall.  When I read that part, I wanted to shout YES!  out loud!  

One of the things I love best about unschooling is realizing I Can be kind and generous to my kids - to my real kids, right now - and it won't undermine them in some way, won't set them up to fail as adults. It isn't important to me whether or not life lessons and teachable moments even work - what's marvelous to me is that those things are Unnecessary. I get to be sweet and gentle and generous and kind And I get more peace in my home and a happy, healthy family. 

---Meredith 

The Good Stuff

Someone posted this on a thread (titled "Are we stuck?") on the alwayslearning yahoo list and it resonated with me because it expresses the sentiments I feel ring true about unschooling: "In addition to this time being short, and precious - you are building the foundation of natural learning in your home. Learning flows when needs are met, connections are strong, and kids can absolutely trust their parents, and know their parents are there for them. Some of the core values of natural learning are trust, support, joy, and freedom. You are putting up scaffolding for years and years of learning by the choices you make now. "

Pam Sorooshian commented on the post and then wrote:
"The time spent mothering and playing is not time away from real learning -not to be rushed through to get to "the good stuff" as some may think of it. It is essential to allow real learning and, really, to allowing the child to grow up as a whole, integrated human being.

Homeschoolers think a lot about learning - but they often focus on learning to read, write, do math, or learning science or history, etc. Unschoolers tend to take that kind of learning for granted, it happens along the way. Instead, as we get more and more into unschooling, we tend to focus on things like kindness and creativity and honesty - all those character traits that will determine "how" their learning will be used in their lives."
---
I loved what Pam wrote so much!  Her comments led me to think about various thoughts related to play in general and how play is connected to relationships, self-esteem and learning.

* Kids learn best when they are happy and engaged in something meaningful to them which is one reason why kids learn so much when they play. 

* If we truly believe that kids will learn from everything and learning is as natural as breathing, we can relax and enjoy ourselves even more without worrying if they are learning specifics that society thinks they should know by a certain age. (With homeschooling, people have the freedom to learn in their own time and way, like they did before school.)

* When kids grow up in a home where they feel good, they get used to "feeling good" as their norm. What a wonderful thing!  And having fun playing is a great way to feel good!

* Another thing that kids learn as we play with them is how relationships work. They get experience  figuring things out in the context of play between (parent and child and siblings). When we play with our kids, it builds positive connection, which is the most important thing to me!

*This brings me back to Pam's comments....when we care for, nurture and play with our children, we are building the foundation of a great relationship. We are in essence showing our kids that we care for them, they are worthy of our time, that they are loved, that we care to spend time with them and do things for them, that we care what they like to do and that what they want to do is important to us. All of this helps them feel like they are important to us. That makes them feel good and increases their self-esteem.

* And to go full circle again....when kids feel good in general, learning flows easier as they are not stressed or in a situation that requires their attention elsewhere and they can naturally focus on what it is they want to learn.

I know Pam alluded to "The good stuff" as being educational because that is what many homeschoolers or other people think (even though she thinks of it much differently).  To me, "the good stuff" is the loving and mothering and connections that forge a caring, trusting relationship. The educational stuff comes naturally and easily when all other needs are met as we follow our interests and doing educational things are part of our lives every day.  In addition, because I am around my children so much, converse with them throughout the day, know what they do and are interested in, notice many of the connections they make, and know them so well overall, I have an understanding of much of what they know (like most parents do of very young children who spend lots of time together).  

It is the time we choose to spend with our kids when they want and need us most that helps build a great foundation not only of love of each other, but of life and learning in general.  That good stuff helps build a good life!

I Really Like My Husband and My Children - I have a great life!!

Makana really wanted tomato soup and grilled cheese for dinner.  But we had no canned tomato soup, so I offerred to make her homemade tomato soup.  I usually can't remember which book the tomato soup recipe that I like is in, but tonight I easily found it.  I had to stop making it to help Kanoa for a while (nurse, diaper change, connection) and then set up the dvd player in the kitchen so I could cook and be close to him.  Threw in some laundry and began to chop onions and press garlic and add spices.  Only have skim cow's milk though.  Asked Li if he would still have the soup if I used that, he said he would prefer going to the store for rice milk.  Checked the time.  It was just about the time Jim might be leaving work.  Called him and he was willing to stop by the store on his way home.  He even made a list of what other things we needed and agreed to get them (as he is a great guy and knows it is much easier overall than taking the three younger kids with me, although we often do shop together).  So....we're waiting for him and will appreciate him not only working all day, but stopping on the way home too.  Thanks Wolfie, I love you!  And this is only one of the gazillion reasons why!! 

I also want to write that I love Katie so much....she is such a wonderful, fun, bright, cheerful person almost all the time!  I love her attitude and who she is - a truly good person, a delight and a sunny person who lifts others up by her very energy and spirit!  It makes me feel so good that she is doing the things in life that make her feel good and has friends who make her laugh and that she enjoys spending time with.  I once read a snippet of a book written by a man who wrote about his experience having teenagers who got so busy it seemed that they were hardly ever home.  Then after his kids had moved out, he realized how they did still live at home when they were sort of using it like a base from where they took their adventures as when they truly weren't living there, he didn't find any evidence of them being around like socks and things and dishes and such and he really missed that and them.  Reading that made me feel sad for him and was a good reminder to appreciate the time that my kids do spend with me and are living at home.  And when I do have a moment where I wish something was put back in it's place, I remember this man and what he felt and it helps to bring me back to what is important and what I can appreciate now.  Once I feel grateful for evidence that those I love live here, I am feeling like I have my priorities straight again.

I do have moments though where I get off track.  Example of Wolfie helping me remember what is important: I took Katie and Zach to the ice skating rink a couple weeks ago.  It was Zach's first time skating.  Katie took her skates with her.  When I brought them home, she had left them in the back of the van.  No big deal, but I really like to keep the van clear in the back so I can put groceries and such in it (okay....I love things organized too!).  A day or so went by and I put them in the mudroom right on the stairs so she could easily spot them and hopefully take them upstairs and put them back in her closet on the ice skate pile.  Well, they sat there for days (and I didn't remember to ask her to take them up as it wasn't high on my list of things to do, but was something I did want put back eventually).  One morning I was saying goodbye to Jim in the mudroom and made a comment about the skates still sitting there.  Jim said "She has alot going on.  Remember when you were fourteen."  His comments reminded me that she does have a whole 'nother world going on and this was not anything important to get bothered by.  In fact, it was easy for me to simply bring the skates up to the skate pile and be grateful for her being alive and having so many other things that she is interested in.  I smiled and thanked Jim for saying that and he said "Yeah, well don't ask me at night when I'm tired!"  lol!  Love that we can be there for each other like this! 

Update on Katie in High School (9th grade)

Katie is enjoying school still.  It is still a bit hard to get up so early (and to get to sleep knowing you want to wake up early), but she does that as well as make her own lunch (she wants to make it right before she leaves so it doesn't get soggy), gather what she needs, and get to where she needs to get to by an early time.  Guess it is worth it to her.  When you want to do something, you can usually find a way to do it.

Honors English is her favorite class and she is proud of herself for getting high marks in it.  She likes her other classes too and has a nice time when she gets to eat with her friends or when she is in the same classes as them.  She has found that some people are really nice and friendly, and others aren't as kind and are not worth her time.  Overall though, her experience so far has been very positive. 

Many days there are hours of homework, though she gets much of it done in school during "independent study" time.  She wonders why it is called Independent Study because students Must do homework during that period and therefore thinks it should be called "Homework."   

Last night, a call from the school was sent to all of the student's homes because bath salts (drugs) were found in the school.  Jim and I are not happy about this as these kind of drugs are way more dangerous than something like marijuana.  The school has decided to implement a program that incorporates dogs to sniff out drugs because of that and the many drug related offenses that have occurred so far this year.   School is not a safe place in Jim's and my opinion, especially when kids who don't want to be there are there and bringing drugs to school.  http://bangordailynews.com/2011/10/26/news/midcoast/bath-salts-discovered-in-rockport-high-school/

10/29/2011 - Today Katie got a new cell phone (her old one broke and she was without one for a few weeks).  She was so excited because she said she could now text while she was in school so she wouldn't be bored.  She went on to say that while she enjoyed most classes (all except health) and felt she was learning in some classes, in others she felt bored because she already knew what was being taught.  This especially was true for algebra.  Interesting that this was the one subject that she fretted about knowing and even though she picked up some algebra books at the beginning of last year because she wanted to learn it, she has never had any formal math (except for a very brief period when I was occasionally asking her to work on handwriting and some math problems back in 2004 or 2005).  Also, she said her math teacher separated her and Zach because they talked too much.  Katie said that this happenned even though their conversations were about math.  Now she feels kind of lonely sitting alone in algebra.   

Nice Day...

We just got in from a walk out to Rockland Breakwater Lighthouse (all six of us) and a stop at the ice cream place downtown (second day we went for half price ice cream!).  Makana was getting ready for a shower and said, "This was the best day ever!  I can't wait to do it again!"  Love that!  Just told Jim what she said and he said she just told me the same thing a few minutes ago!  :)

Oh, and the three older kids did Mad Libs in the car and it was so nice to hear their voices and laughter.  Nice being all together.