Friday, July 27, 2012

Whole people

I think I forget how much of a change it is from much of our culture to feel comfortable with the lives we are living - ie. the pace with with we learn and grow and change and accepting however-it-is as fine and right for that person rather than thinking it should be something different.

I am grateful for feeling comfortable with waking up when we feel rested and eating when we are hungry and staying in or going out as we feel like rather than thinking we *should* be doing other things.

I feel grateful for realizing that we don't have to be like anyone else.  I don't and my kids don't.  None of us do.  We are all different and that is okay.

I am grateful for feeling okay without being perfect and for accepting and loving myself and loving others who aren't perfect either, quirks and all.

Because of the acceptance of Who my kids Are and because they aren't being scrutinized and judged and made to jump through hoops and made to feel like they *should* be doing what others deem necessary and then graded, I am hopeful that they will think of themselves as whole people, with whatever skills and values and joys and talents and passions they have.  I doubt that they will feel like an epic fail or think they are deficient.  They wont' have to learn what others have deemed necessary for success in life or follow a timetable or learn in a linear fashion in order to progress.

It is a shame to me that over the past few years, labels have been assigned to so many kids in school and many of them have been drugged.  All these labels in the world today make me cringe.  That a person should be labeled with some kind of diagnosis seems like they aren't being accepted for Who They Are as a Whole and are instead separated into pieces with each piece being evaluated and scrutinized and analyzed and judged as pass or fail or mutated or much better than average.  Think how the people being judged feel!  Does the label make them feel like they have to live up to it?

Whether we perceive that label as positive or negative still can make a person feel uncomfortable, especially if they want to feel like they fit in.  This sounds so strange to me because we grow up and are told that we are all unique and special in our own way and a one of a kind and then if we are different more than others, we get labeled.  Whether labeled as gifted or needing some kind of help, many people want to fit in and not be seen as special or different, especially during certain years such as adolescence and for those in school in general.  I bet it must feel uncomfortable feeling and thinking that you are somehow different if you truly want to feel like you are "normal" and like everyone else.

I feel comfortable knowing that my kids will learn what is important to them and develop in their own way and in their own time.  I know I too am continuing to develop and learn what interests me.  

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