I usually tell my kids what to expect in our society so they can know what to expect and fit in if they want to. But I didn't this time. I guess I was thinking that if anyone ever tried to ask Makana the magic word, that they wouldn't manipulate her to answer them since she truly doesn't know. And I love how she says Abre! Dora is her favorite show..still. She says thank you and please when she wants to and is polite without having to fit into our culture and I guess I will tell her at some point...I am just loving how she still doesn't know "the magic word!!"
Okay, I just asked Li what the magic word was and he said, Magic The Gathering cards (of course he associates everything that sounds like magic to his fav game!) and I said "No, the 'magic word.'" And he said "Aahhh abracadabra???" ;) And I know he was asked by someone a couple years ago "What's the magic word?" when he wanted to know if he could take home a rubber band. Guess he forgot.
Here's the relevant Scott Noelle's Daily Groove which I have read many times before and like and which got me writing this whole entry.
--- On Fri, 4/16/10, Scott Noelle - The Daily Groove
From: Scott Noelle - The Daily Groove
Subject: [Daily Groove] The (Real) Magic Word
Date: Friday, April 16, 2010, 6:22 AM
THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
Get the support you need to be a powerful partner, so
you can create a powerful partnership with your kids:
:: The (Real) Magic Word ::
Most of us were taught that "the magic word" is
*please*. Just say "please" and you'll get what you
We quickly learned that a certain kind of theatrics
was required to unleash the word's magic: begging and
*pleading*. But pleading always feels disempowering --
not very magical.
Fortunately, there's a word with *real* magic: LET'S.
We used it mostly with other kids, since grown-ups
didn't really believe in magic. Nobody told us it was
a magic word, we just knew intuitively that we could
use it to co-create whatever we wanted:
* Let's play!
* Let's pretend!
* Let's go puddle stomping!
* Let's make a fairy castle!
* Let's build a treehouse!
* Let's start a band!
The essence of letting is *allowing*, which is the key
to creativity. And the apostrophe-S stands for "us,"
so LET'S is really an invitation to co-create.
It's good to model politeness and use "please" with
your kids, but if it turns into pleading, you're
modeling disempowerment. Switch to LET'S and you'll
model empowerment through partnership...
"Would you PLEEEEEASE help me clean up
this mess!?" :-(
"LET'S clean this up together!" :-)
Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2010 by Scott Noelle
"Inspiration & Coaching for Progressive Parents"